Stereotypes.

We all crave perfection, though why isn't what we have already perfect enough for us ? If we're satisfied, is that our perfection in plain view ? I despise the people who change so much to fit in. What happened to no one is perfect ? We go out of our way to satisfy others who mostly do not care as much as society portrays. Being yourself is what you should be, not because I say so as known as compliance, because who enjoys changing their ways to get a long with a certain group ? The social pressures to fit in known as conformity, as a young impressionable person, it's hard to stay where you want to since some things of what we want to be are not accepted. Certain people don't go abroad their set boundaries, since they are afraid what the others in their group will say. People shove us into these categories by a kernel of truth of what they know, not by the whole spectrum. Our minds are far more complex than what we really know and grasp. We decide not to think as much and use our minds, so we use the false thinking and 'we attribute that behavior to the person's stereotypical disposition.' I try not to think of people so harshly, but in a more positive light. I may not come off as someone to think more logical haha. Though someone should try walking around and not stereotyping someone, since stereotyping goes to false and negative generalizations, then go to prejudice[the feelings] and then to the worst of all, discrimination[the actions]. I think we've grown lazy basically.

Lose Yourself.

So Romeo from Z100 Retired from Z100 last night, on the radio. I just happened to be in a 5 hour road trip ha ha. Anyways, it was kind of sad. He had a request for the most inspirational song ever. Honestly, I haven't heard it in a few years, and I realized it made more of an impression right now than a few years ago. 'Lose Yourself' by Eminem.
I had a great night last night. At burger king and Mcdonald's and our little road trip and fiasco. I will eventually go on a road trip. To every state in 1 summer. I shall suceed. Who's coming with me?

So this is it..

I'm sick of constant criticization. I'm sick of everyone. I'm done with all of you for now. I'm making new friends, I'm sick of never getting to see my friends outside of school. I'm sick of my mother
bashing everyone. I'm sick of all this bullshit. I don't know what else to do. This thing called life, is fucking cruel and heartless. How do I regain my heart?

This is to everyone.

I've came to the conclusion, people suck. Everyone does. Most of my friends do, to be perfectly honest. A person that'll just say hello in the hallway, yeah you're not like a true friend to me so whatever. I've been fading away from some people and reluctantly growing closer with others. Though no one cares to text, call, make PLANS with me, ever. So honestly I'm done. I'm at the point where, why the fuck should I give you a second or third, or fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, bullshit endless chances? HUH? Give me a reason. I was stuck home friday night, most of saturday too. I've come to the conclusion that I'll give you one more shot. You blow it, you're done. Straight up how it's going to be. I won't be here waiting.
'I miss you ! We need to chill soon ! '
Yeah ok sure. Does that ever work, NO !
People give me that shit all the time. They do it because they couldn't find anyone else to hang out with. I try and try and all I do is get a smack in the face.
I try to carry on convorsations that you'll give one or two word answers to and I just say, you know what, fuck you too. You know that all of you have your cellular devices within a few meter radius, and you all know it, and you all can pick up the phone for maybe 20 minutes out of your 'busy' lives and give me a call or some sort of way to check if my pulse is still going.
I talked to some other people and realized it wasn't only me. So you know what, this is it. I'll try to get in contact with you fools one more time, and if you try to blow me off, or not talk to me anymore, that's your deal.
Don't come crawling back to me, expecting me to be here because I won't. I'll be long gone.
So there it is. I'm in my ' Identity vs. Confusion' stage.
I'm getting closer to identity, and man oh man, you guys really haven't got a clue on who I am and who you're dealing with.
xo.

Silly me, and I was so Naive.

So once again back at square one, she never learned. Don't you realize once you've lost all your true friends, that you've done something silly and wrong? Though you can never man up to what you say which makes you look like a dumbass even more ! Hah, get over yourself hun, stop trying to flatter yourself. You look immature as hell and one of our friends came to me telling me she can't hear it anymore, I mean don't you get it you dumb bitch? Obvi. not.
Anyways, she'll get her's. I had a dream the other night, where I was standing in line to buy flowers for Valentine's Day and someone cut through the line, like I was at the middle of this line, and this arrogant bitch shoved through right infront of me and continued walking. I shoved her back real hard and I got introuble. So here's what I think of it. I think it was Lisa, coming out of NO WHERE to start a problem, while I was waiting patiently in line to buy some flowers. So what happens the next day ?! I have to go hunt her down that morning and confront that bitch. I can't believe I had one of those premonitions, but in a dream format in a different situation. Amazing how dreams DO some how relate to you. Remember, as soon as you wake up you have only 10 seconds to catch that dream, or else it's gone.
I think I've came to the conclusion that I'm too paranoid. I'm going to meditate daily, and sleep way more. I'll go to school, come home and meditate some days, or maybe everyday, then eat and chill for a while, then go to sleep. That'll be my life unless I make plans.
Other than that; that's it for now.
xo.

The way we talk

The Maine is just amazing with complete sense their music makes. Bands can write many songs, but when you can relate or something that's catchy and you can sing it and think of atleast 1 way it relates to you. Obvi I'm singing along with them, though yeah. Today was a better day, it was nice and warm until it was about 3pm, then it got cold): I'm still sick, from my cousin coughing all weekend like a smoker, ugh. I'm still disgusted with her. Shallow is as shallow does, some people NEVER change, well yepp. They don't and won't; it wasn't even the first time that happened.

Oh and midterms are finally over, woo !

Done.